Setting Limits on Setting Limits

When training our tutors, we discussed appropriate limit setting. We also made it very clear that corporal punishment was entirely unacceptable. But, in recent weeks, this issue has really become an important focus of my thinking. Let me be clear - none of our tutors have used corporal punishment. We haven't had any such issues to this point. But, the relationships are becoming more complex.

As we know, student test boundaries as they become familiar with new people. As the initial excitement about working with "big kids" wears off, our students are realizing that the tutors are holding high expectations and making their students do challenging work. This, naturally, leads to some push back from the students.

For the first time, our tutors are dealing with whining and temper tantrums. I'm noticing, clearly, that our tutors are struggling to handle these behaviors. They fall back to what's most comfortable for them - in some cases, yelling and threats. Our supervising teachers step in quickly in these situations, but it presents a challenge as we move forward. How do we teach appropriate behavior management strategies without insulting the strategies used in our tutors' families? It becomes so easy for, "it's more appropriate to try..." to sound like, "your family's doing it wrong!" All educators know that discussions about parenting/punishment are inherently tricky - student tutors simply add another layer.

Moving forward, we will constantly take steps to improve our training program. I realize now that specific behavior management strategies must be taught during our pre-service training. Specifically, it seems that the program should have a series of escalating warnings and consequences that is simply administered by our tutors. This would avoid the confusing cultural dynamics currently emerging. We work hard to ensure that all of our students are safe, and we look forward to providing our students with the skills necessary to successfully deal with the challenges that elementary school students bring.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Mark